Growing Into Consistency
For my dear friend, Jennine
All my life, I struggled to be consistent—I struggled with self-care, chaotic emotions, and figuring out who I wanted to be when I grew up. (Does this sound familiar?) “I was doing so well and then, bam!, I just stopped.” I could be absolutely enamored of something one minute and be totally turned off by it the next.
Then, I was at a workshop once and the presenter started talking about “roller coaster results.” Oh, I was very familiar with those! Wait! Was she saying there was another way? I wanted it. I longed to be someone who was steady and centered. Some part of my consciousness knew that it was possible, I just wasn’t letting that part be in control of my choices very often and it was ruining my confidence. Could it be that consistency was foundational to actually feeling confident?!
Over the next ten years or so, I learned to tune in to all the little ways I get “off my game.” They have become some of my greatest teachers. They’re subtle. Some of them are psychological, some are physical. But they have a common thread: They need me to show up for them. Those little things that happen are actually life trying to wake me up to my true nature, which is amazingly consistent.
Now, I am one of the youngest people to ever earn a Master Certified Coach credential. I raise two children who know what to expect and how to approach me. I have a circle of the most loving friends you could possibly imagine. My body, which was once my greatest source of pain, is healthy and feels whole—and when it doesn’t feel good, I know how to turn toward it and work with it. To me, these things are miracles but I also know that I grew into them, day by day. And you can, too.
So, what are some strategies that can help us grow the energetic muscles of consistency? Here are my top six:
Work with a teacher who truly gets you, a mentor or a professional coach—someone who can validate your progress and support you to maintain focus on whatever you are inconsistent about. This allows in the energy of true support, which is a game-changer.
Honor your own feelings, even if they don’t at first make logical sense. They are messengers and they are trying to tell you something.
Start a bodywork or breathwork practice. Start small if you must, but start. The mind affects the body and the breath directs the mind. As your strength grows in these things, it will bolster you from the inside out.
Remember that ideas are innately light and fun, but physical reality takes energy and therefore feels not fun. Don’t take that personally or fight against that. Learn to expect it. This is the nature of life and if we let it, we will achieve personal mastery as we answer rise to meet it.
Define your vision. It’s much more powerful and sustainable to move toward what you want than to push away from what you don’t want. One feeds you where the other one drains you.
Discern your purpose. This differentiates the natural automatic, negative instinct of the brain from your spirit or higher self. It’s energizing to operate from who you really are, rather than to push away from who you are afraid you are (which is probably informed by shame, fear, worry or inadequacy).
If you need a partner in growing your consistency muscles, call me or dm me. I’m here for you. The world needs you to do this, so don’t wait another day.
Much love,
Coach Flame